What do you think of when you hear the word prenup? Wealthy male looking to keep his new young brides’ hands off his money? Me too. I lied, it’s Kanye West’s song Gold Digger, but you get the idea.
I would argue that a prenuptial agreement would be increasingly more important as you go down the income ladder. Technically, the wealthy have more to lose but I doubt many of them will be worrying about a roof over their head or groceries post-divorce. What about the middle-class spouse who must give up their primary home without the finances for another one? I’m sure we all know at least one person who has been in this position.
But I get it. The last thing on most newlyweds’ minds is having a plan in place for the failing of their marriage – even though there’s a good chance that their wedding vows till death won’t quite make it that long. Please don’t take this one personally and look up the facts yourself. Almost half don’t make it that far and it should bother you as much as it does me. At the end of the day, you are putting yourself in an incredibly vulnerable position – your house, income, savings, and retirement are all at risk.
So, hear me out. Is it such a bad thing to have a plan in place before tying the knot? Where expectations can be laid across the table and talked about openly? Personally, I think this level of communication is a healthy move and will strengthen a relationship before entering the legal contract of a marriage. It opens that hard discussion and puts both parties on the same page. What could go wrong?
Here are some potentially unexpected scenarios –
- An asset such as a house is bought prior to meeting their spouse and is now co-owned via your legal partnership. This includes future equity and sale profit.
- One spouse with no student loan debt is responsible for half of the others
- Credit card, business, medical or any debt accrued by one spouse is shared
- Alimony could have to be paid with no minimum marriage length in some states
- Inheritance, heirlooms, and gift money will be half your spouses
- Division of property amid a second or third marriage
You are entering into a life altering union which could be even more life altering in the even that one, or both, of the parties want out of their vows. Marriage can be some difficult but amazing waters to navigate. Open communications, discussions, and expectations will help lay a solid foundation for the life you will build together.
Obviously, I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice. My goal here is to get the conversation started on whether this is a good idea for your situation. If all goes well, the divorce aspects of this agreement will never be utilized anyway.